As a writer, it has been my inner most desire to have few days of uninterrupted isolation preferably within the comforts available in my house. Perhaps this has stemmed from the agonies of the frequent disturbances which I had to face while I was engrossed in the creative process of writing an article, story or book. When you are mustering and putting all your energies & focusing on a subject of your favorite creation, any disturbance hurts you very badly. You just need isolation without any disturbances to finish an article / poem / story or novel which is cooking in your mind. You don’t want anything between you and your chain of thoughts except your pen/paper or laptop. But other people, specially your near & dear ones do not understand/value all this. They will keep disturbing you for trivial things. And paradox is that they think that are doing this for your good only.
My innermost desire was fulfilled a few days back when I was tested positive for covid-19 and I had to remain home quarantined for 14 days. It happened ‘word for word’ in the same way which I have scripted in my mind. I was in my bedroom & there was absolutely no disturbance at all except the meals or drinks etc. which were kept on a table outside my room periodically by my wife.
But I could not use this dream situation for my intended advantage. There was a very subtle difference. Although the situation was according to the description of a dream situation but there was still a world of difference. It was similar to the difference between the enjoyment of sexual intercourse and getting raped. It was the difference of being a prisoner and a jail staff or being a patient and doctor. The environment is same for both but their ‘state of mind’ is totally opposite.
The situation was forced upon me. The critical element of my ‘free will’ was missing. Therefore, in spite of no disturbance and all available time during these two weeks of isolation, I was not able to write anything. Not even my minimum ritual of writing at least two pages which I was doing in spite of my all business over the years.